[Trans] SeungJo’s Diary ~ EPILOGUE‏

Credit jina_bing_bang@Soompi for translation.
Original Entry at MBC Playful Kiss Homepage

SeungJo’s Diary Epilogue 1
Author: Lim Young Joo (Same person who wrote the YouTube diaries)

Authors Note:
I am surprised that there are people still reading SeungJo’s diary although 장키 (Playful Kiss) has been over for a while ㅠㅠ
So I intend to give a present.
This is just a scribble of the after story for Playful Kiss, I wonder if people will read it…
Perhaps I will wish to make this one or two pieces
Because surprises are always pleasant.

<1 Year Later>
Kkong Dang Kkong Dang I can hear Hani coming up the stairs.
The sound of Hani coming back to my arms, my lips secretly make a smile.
“I’m Back”, Hani says in a cheerless voice (low energy, weak).
With the final stages of Hani studying for her test it takes lots of strength even protecting her from the side is pitiful.
Whoo~ She comes to my side as she exhales a sigh.
From my back hearing Hani’s heart makes me feel good.
Stealthily I lifted her arm and slightly gave the back of her a kiss.
A warm kiss was returned to my earlobe.
The short act of skinship that come and go is like the fatigue of one spring day’s snow melting away.

“Is it really hard?”
“Yeah.”
It must really be hard she is not saying it is not.
“Wash up and quickly rest!”
“No, I have to study a little bit more. Tomorrow is the last mock test.”
“Do you want help?” “No, I will just do it on my own”
“What’s up with that? You didn’t ask for my help.”
“It must be hard for you too? I heard you have a test on the nervous system tomorrow”

I am moved by tears (It is a form of expression- He felt touched).
These days I see this fellow think deeply and see an effort in trying to stand on her own.
For a genius like me the terrible studies of medical school are taking little tolls on me as I am fatigued.
The material to study for medical school is massive so no one should study alone.
Either form a study group and share information with each other or receive the Sunbae’s records and study from that.
There are too many things to memorize.
I am thankful for the name of love to recognize and consider this.

“Hani, continue after you eat these late night snacks. My goodness! How can it be so hard?
Just have a child living comfortably and sweetly instead.”

As soon as I fell asleep mother silently came in.
These days mother is busy preparing late night snacks for Hani. At any rate my Hani will become a pig.

“Yes, Thank you. You do not have to do this, you cannot even sleep, If I am hungry I will figure it out.”
“No, you! This is how I live. I lived so much without having fun as I raised those two stiff siblings”
Of course it is something mother would say.

Ook! Suddenly Hani threw up. Why is this?

“Why is something wrong with the taste? Did it go bad? I just prepared it”
“No, Just I do not feel well. It must be because I am a bit tired”
“You…By chance do you have good news”

Mother’s assumptions are rising. I better stop her at this point.

“Mother! Please stop chatting and go downstairs to sleep. I have to go out early tomorrow morning. You do not have to brag about your mother in law/daughter in law relationship everyone already knows.”
“Oh? Did you wake up because of me? Sorry! Hani! If you don’t really feel well make sure to take some medicine!”
Mother who lowered her voice begged Hani and barely left to go downstairs.
After hearing several alarm clocks ringing Hani did not wake up.

“Isn’t it time for you to go to school? You have to get up!”

Okay, Hani says but as she tosses and turns she has no strength in her voice. As I place my hand on her forehead she has a slight fever.
Thoroughly examining her I see that she dark circles under her eyes have formed and her face doesn’t look good these days.
It looks like she is sick somewhere.

“It seems that you have a fever so going to the hospital seems good.”
“Okay, after going to school I will stop by the hospital and come home”

<Hani>
“What do I do? Pregnant already, I haven’t become a nurse yet and haven’t fulfilled anything.
First becoming a mother. I feel like a fool.
SeungJo is also studying busily and suddenly if he knows about having a baby then it would be harder, right?
If mother finds out she will certainly say to give up on studying
Am I supposed to give up my dreams like this? What should I do?

I have a heavy heart thinking that I may not be able to fulfill my dream of becoming a nurse compared to having a pretty baby.
As soon as she came, mother poured questions at me.
It was apparent that she was anticipating something.
I just said that I had an upset stomach and went upstairs.
‘SeungJo, Hurry and come. What will I do?’

Even though I eagerly waited for SeungJo of course he was late today too.
Other students form study groups as if they were living together but since SeungJo is married he comes home even if it is late.
Will he be happy that suddenly we have a child in the midst of both studying and being busy?
While waiting for SeungJo a number of thoughts shook my feelings.
‘I should wait a little and tell him once both of our tests are over. Besides if I tell him concentrating on studying will be uneasy. Baby, I am sorry! It’s not that I am not joyous; it’s just that mom and dad are a bit busy. Sorry baby…’

<SeungJo>
“What did they say at the hospital? Are you okay?” “Yeah”
“Now next week is the test, are you confident?”
“Yeah, I am going to surely pass! For me, for you and for our bab, HMPH!”
Hani was talking but suddenly covered her mouth with her hand and stopped talking.
“What?” “Ah, it’s nothing.”
“Dull, You’re working hard, Pretty, My Hani! Just endure the hardship for a few more days.”

Drawing silent Hani by her hair into my arms I held her.
Soft breathes from Hani are felt above my chest.
I feel peace everyday in the arms of Hani.
Like lighting a firework slowly once on the forehead, second time on her earlobe I kiss her.
Slowly it is getting warmer. Like she was melting or soaking Hani was snuggling into my arms.
The faster her breathes got the deeper I wanted to snuggle with Hani but she slightly pushed me away.

“Why is something wrong? Do you not like it? It’s been a long time?”
“It’s because I am a bit tired, sorry, maybe because of the test I am tense.”

I felt restless and hurt but seeing Hani really tired made these feelings release.

“Then, let me just hold you and sleep.”

Why is she likes this, is it really because of the test? It seems like she has a worry these days, it seems that she has been under lots of stress from the test, I must console her somehow.

<Hani>
Even though I was in SeungJo’s warm arms and getting kissed I couldn’t deal with the worries that were like tides coming in.

What to do? Can someone like me be a good mother? I’m not the brightest, a scatterbrain, and accident prone and what if I also can’t be with my child like my mother?
I do not even want to think about this but this keeps piling up and is giving me strength.

‘SeungJo, What do I do. I wanted to become a mother after I fulfilled my dream and became a great person. Since it became like this-what do we do? Oh HaNi! Let’s stop worrying and diligently study!’

<SeungJo>
I thought she was asleep but Hani silently removing herself from my arms and sitting in front of the desk looks pitiful.
Noah’s snail showing great diligence to fulfill her dream, I am proud of Oh HaNi but seeing her suffer a part of my heart stings like a knife constantly cutting it.
I watched the back of her study without saying anything. Fighting my snail, Oh HaNi!
In a little bit she slid to the side of the desk and though time passed she did not get up.

‘She must have fallen asleep although she can’t even stay up late’

The wind blew by.
Thinking she would wake up I silently carried her and laid her on the bed, after picking out expected exam questions, explaining the problems gotten wrong and checked the problems you will need to know. This is my small present to your tired self.

<Hani>
Finally today is the test.
For now the baby and I have been overcoming this.
Because we were both studying the baby must be suffering as well when I pull my stomach a bit it hurts at times.
I am sorry I was surprised baby, sorry baby and once I stroke my stomach everything will be okay.
You must be very sincere since you will be like me. You would be very cold if you were to be like SeungJo.
Wait, what if you are like me so you’re not smart?
No. Baby please have SeungJo’s brain and my personality.
Please…I earnestly requested to the baby.

Do well on the test, said blunt brother in law EunJo
Hani! At least take a pill to clear your heart, said always very worried Mother
Warmly passing my lunch-my father, patting my back, one’s other father
Everyone gathered their cheers and gallantly came to the testing site.
But why do I feel dizzy? This can’t happen, Let me find more strength.
Baby! Let us both give it our all. Fighting to you too. SeungJo! Give us strength.

<SeungJo>
I was waiting for her in the front of the testing site thinking that I better take her out to eat some good things.
Fortunately the weather was not cold. You must have seen me from afar as you brightly smiled and ran my way.
Do you feel that good?
A smile that fills my heart like a full spring scenery and blossoming flowers you come running.
For a moment my heart flutters and feels content, suddenly Hani collapses in front of me.
Suddenly my heart plunges to the bottom.
“Because much stress received the mother is suffering a lot. The baby is also suffering so as the husband, please do well so stress will not be received”

Mother? I feel as if someone hit the back of my head with a hammer.

“Did you know?”
“Yeah”
“Fool, why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because you were suffering as well from studying, I am also not prepared”

An awkward and hesitant voice came out.

“Then were you trying to have a miscarriage?”

Hani must have been very surprised at my angry voice as she opened her eyes big, nodded her head and said this while crying.

“I…thought this would be a distraction while you were studying, after we were done with our tests...”

“Why don’t you trust me? You are suffering all by yourself and I do not even know you were laughing around like a fool? Why are you making me into the bad person~!”

Looking at the tears that were about to fall from Hani’s eyes I stopped to say the sharp remarks.
Saying these remarks although I know the baby is roughly hearing them and while disregarding Hani’s eyes.
Baek Seung Jo. You have a long way to go…

While nodding her head, tear fallings, with an alarmed face and shaking voice…
“No tha...that is not it but if mother knew…give up studying…give it up…she could say that. I really wanted to be a nurse and be a good wife to you. ..(Sobs).”

Hani’s half crying half whining words and the duty to the baby has been weighing down my heart.
If she met a normal man then the baby would not suffer this much and would be content by what she has…
If I sought out more care for her…
A person who is becoming a doctor not knowing that his own wife is pregnant and leaving her suffering like that…
At once like a tide is rising liability is taking a strangle hold on me.
By myself what could I do to handle this fear and comfort the baby?
The words I’m sorry did not come out, I indefinitely felt small and was shabby, and all I could do was hold Hani.
And the times where I had to swallow my sorrows all came out at once, sadly crying for a while.
How long could that small body be in pain?
As a foolish husband the scolded tears that make bones hurt come out.
The tears from a man who let the wife he loves suffer all by herself formed in my eyes.

“Truthfully I was struck with fear. I feared that I would not be able to protect my child like my mother.”

I see. You were hurting more from something that I didn’t even think of.

“It’s okay. You have me. I will undoubtedly protect you. No matter what I will not let you leave me first so do no worry. Okay?”

A promise and a kiss.
The tears on top of her cheek absorbed and the tears on top of her eyelashes.
The tears on top of her suffering red forehead too…
From now on do not cry by yourself.
By swallowing all your bittersweet tears I am swallowing all of your pain…
The times of loneliness inside your tears I asked for them to all be erased.
Slowly Hani’s crying began to die down.

With a tearful face she tells me, “We still have to tell the parents?”

“No, with mothers aggressiveness we do not know how she will react and we should wait until out tests are revealed. Once we pass because it is a waste she can’t say that we have to stop studying. By the way! When you are pregnant I hear you want to try new things are you craving anything?”

“Are you really going to directly buy what I want?”

“Of course!”

“Thus far there hasn’t been a day where you have done so.”

Asking as if she doesn’t believe and with shiny eyes.
Was I really like this? It isn’t something I have thought about before.
Possibly even though I say that I love you I neglect the little things you do for me.
Again I am sorry. Why does love mean saying sorry?
When do you think a day will come where love is efficient enough not to say sorry?

“I want to eat strawberries. Will there be strawberries in November?”

“These days there should be house strawberries. I will buy them!”

For the times of carelessness I want to try and compensate for that so like the wind I am running in the November wind.

“Mom, Look at Hyung! Why is he hiding the strawberries he bought and running up so fast? How shameful, is he going so fast because he thinks someone is going to steal them?”

“What? Strawberries?”

From the back I hear EunJo expressing his doubt and mothers voice starting to come up.
I should have hid them and then come in.

“Here, I bought the strawberries.” “It took longer than I thought. Are there not any nearby?”
“Yeah, there weren’t any in the neighborhood so I went all the way to a big super market. I think I was caught by EunJo so eat them fast.”

“Really? Then we should both eat it.”

“Don’t share it. You eat them all by yourself. Is there anything else you want to eat?”

Suddenly spilling my heart like this Hani’s eyes look like the moon lighting up.
Within that moonlight my heart is spreading throughout my body.

“Hani! SeungJo!”
Mothers quick sense and voice that hit the back of my head.

“You guys have something that you are hiding? Answer truthfully~ Hani is pregnant, right?”

Followed by curiosity of going crazy one word stuck out.

“Yes”,

“Right? My premonition was right~! HA HA HA Why did you hide such a joyous fact? I feel hurt.”

“Truthfully…I…thought you would tell is to give up studying”

How much she felt sorry was told by Hani not being able to look at mother and respond with her head down.

“Hey, Why would I not let you study? You studies so hard that would be wasteful, when your cravings start it will be break so it is alright and by the time the baby is to be born in August it will be break again so it is perfect! SeungJo, as expected you’re a genius for perfectly timing!”

In an instant mother scheduled and balance everything. She is always busy.
Although she is so fast that it does become a problem.

“Do not worry and just give birth to a healthy baby. I will take care of everything”

“Do not have the baby wear girl clothes again.”

“No! I will never do that. Hani will give birth to a pretty girl? Right Hani~!
What are you doing? Hurry and contact your fathers. EunJo! You also think of some baby names~! Ah, we have to take a commemoration picture!”

The rapid buzz pouring out from Mother’s voice followed by joy that fills the whole house.
The suffering that has been released comes now the sunlight that makes all of you shine.

And to our baby too.